Words about Dad

Hello friends and family,

Thank you all for coming. I know my dad would be so moved and happy to see all of you and to know how he’s made such a positive impact on our lives. I feel privileged to be the one speaking, as I was lucky enough to spend my entire life knowing him.

Today we gather not just to mourn our loss but also to celebrate what a full and wonderful life he had lived. As we reflect and trade stories about him, let us commemorate a man whose selflessness, love, and sense of humor has forever changed us. 

He was the most selfless person I’ve known - always thinking of other people before himself. He was the kind of man who always made sure to give a person on the street the change he had in his pocket.  He never asked for anything from me or mom, and even in times of sickness, he would worry about others and insist on taking care of us. Even though he fought long and hard for his health - not once did I ever let me feel burdened with worrying about him. He drove hours between work and dialysis appointments all while giving me the best childhood any son could ask for. He truly embodies what it means to be a parent - to give unconditional love and support without asking for anything in return.

He was my best friend growing up- and always so supportive of my interests - together we dove headfirst into playing with trains and legos and Pokemon cards, and he never missed a martial arts tournament, soccer game or band performance. He would drive me to and from the skatepark and guitar lessons, and I’ll never forget the summer he drove an additional two hours every day to take me to my dream internship at a skateboarding magazine. He was cool like that - so committed to my happiness and aspirations, always in my corner cheering me on. His unwavering support has been the foundation of my dreams and my successes today. Dad, I hope you’re still watching over me so I can share just how high I’ve gotten to fly thanks to you. 

Dad’s proudest achievement was, beyond watching his programming code compile, marrying mom and building a life and family with her. He was such a romantic - while going through his old things the other day, I found a thick binder full of love letters, poems, and flirty messages he exchanged with her. He would quote classic song lyrics from the Beatles and 50’s doowop groups that echoed his deepest wishes to be with her forever. Watching him treat my mom like a queen, always putting her first, and communicating with love and respect showed me what it took to foster a healthy marriage. In my thirty-one years all I ever saw was his love for her grow more and more, flourishing over flowers and valentine’s day cards, text messages, and most recently memes of cute cats. Their marriage has given Dad more than a lifetime full of happiness and memories that will carry on.

Even amidst health challenges, he was always grateful for the life he lived. He once told me that he didn’t think he would live long enough to see me graduate high school. Luckily for all of us he was with us for so much more- he was there for my college graduation & for my wedding. He was always so happy to spend time with Purnima and I and to love and accept her as his own daughter.

Dad was such a good listener, and although he hardly spoke of himself, he always had a way of making us laugh - with his clever wit and funny voices. He sang all the time and loved music, he played everything from the 80s to Green Day and Blink 182 for me. We attended many concerts, and he was one of my favorite people to sing along with. I’m glad I got to finally teach him a little bit of guitar in the last few months of his life. He was really hip in my eyes, and truly the best dad anyone could ask for. He’ll always live on with me through the music we shared together, and I’ll be sure to upload a playlist of all of his favorite songs on the website we made for him.

As we say goodbye to DJ, let us not succumb to sorrow but instead, celebrate the love, laughter and inspiration he shared with us. To my father, a figure of unconditional love and support, I am forever grateful. May your memory live on as a beacon of love and resilience in our hearts.